Reasons Not to Homeschool: Dismantling the Myths

More and more families are considering taking the homeschool plunge in the fall of 2020. For many, the thought of homeschooling had NEVER previously crossed their minds. I have chatted with a few such moms and have read the posts of others on social media groups. Understandably, they are hesitant to jump into these unchartered waters. Here are just a few of the reasons not to homeschool I’ve heard so far:

Reason Not to Homeschool #1: I’m Not Patient.

I hear you. Loud and clear, in fact. Just today I took an informal poll around the house and asked my husband and teen son one simple, straightforward question: Would you describe me as patient??

Their answer? A resounding, unhesitating, unqualified, “NO.”

Okay, well, there’s really no need to look further than the people that know you the best. Moving right along…

The truth is, I don’t disagree with them. I would never describe myself as patient. I do have strong suits–patience is just not naturally one of them. That’s not to say I haven’t grown in patience through my seven completed years of homeschooling. But I’ve also grown in patience from just being a parent in general. I’ll bet most parents would agree: simply bringing their bundle of joy home from the hospital presented them plenty of opportunities to grow in patience within the first few days alone. And that trend probably did not slow down much over the next several years.

Yes, homeschooling WITH patience intact generally goes better than homeschooling without it. Duly noted. I’ve lost my patience with my kids more times than I can count. But guess what? We’re still here, they’re still learning, we still love each other, and we’re still moving forward into our eighth year of doing this very soon. The setbacks caused by any impatience on my part (or theirs) hasn’t truly set us back all that much. It’s really just a part of life and living in close proximity to others. We recover, adjust course, and move on.

Most of my impatience, I’ve found, stems from just being around my kids much more often than if they were in school. It’s not so much from the academics themselves. Which brings me to the second myth…

Reason Not to Homeschool #2: I Can’t Imagine Being Around My Kids All Day Every Day.

Yep. I can’t either, yet somehow I do it!

Seriously, this one might very well take some adjustment, especially if you’re used to them in school for multiple hours a day. Having the kids at home does change the family dynamic. Even if it’s a happy change for you, chances are you will experience a downside as well.

I have found plenty of good to being around my kids so much. And amazingly enough, even the “bad” can turn into good with time and patience (there’s that key word again).

The good? The kids and I really know each other, warts and all. They talk to me, I talk to them. We are forced to deal with issues as they come up instead of sweeping things under a rug. Of course all of these things can happen no matter whether your kids are in school or not. I get that. I know plenty of parents who have chosen traditional school and also enjoy that kind of relationship with their kids.

Homeschooling does tend to push things along in that regard, though. You can’t avoid your kids, even when you want to. They’re just…there. Like all the time. You learn to manage that and even come to enjoy it (most days at least!). Some moms might naturally gravitate toward this fact; others maybe not so much.

I was somewhere in between. I knew the importance of building that relationship, but in the early days I did hugely struggle with kids around all the time. And having a husband who traveled for work and no family around didn’t help the situation. I had a few not very pretty years where I honestly just had to gut it out and wait for better days ahead.

And sure enough, that season also didn’t last. My kids are older now, are used to being at home, and I’m used to having them around. I feel like I am building a solid relationship with them block by block that will go the distance. And my relationship with them is frankly worth more to me than any career or time to myself ever could have been.

Reason Not to Homeschool #3: I’m Not Very Academic.

That’s fine. But although homeschooling by its very nature involves academics, not being academically inclined yourself is not as big an obstacle as it may seem. For one thing, every mom learns a lot herself from homeschooling over the course of years. I have been gleaning a lot of history from studying it with my kids, for example. It may have been history not thoroughly covered during my educational years, or not covered in a very effective manner, like broken-up textbooks versus engaging living books and primary sources. For whatever reason, I love history now more than ever and feel much more confident discussing it.

Math tends to be a big concern for a lot of new homeschool moms. The good news is, if you’re not very math inclined, you can easily find the help you need. Get a curriculum with DVD lessons (we use Math-U-See). YouTube is an amazing resource for those concepts you need some extra instruction on or explained an alternative way. Tutors are plentiful if that’s the route you need to take. You may very well find a co-op that offers math taught by a qualified teacher. Facebook homeschool boards are always a great resource to ask for ideas and/or recommendations.

Don’t let one or a few sticky subjects be among the reasons not to homeschool. Every mom will have her weaknesses (among other things, mine is fine arts instruction). The trick is finding a way around them with the many tools available in today’s homeschooling sphere. Play to your strengths while steadily working on your weaknesses.

Reason Not to Homeschool #4: My Kid Won’t Have a Social Life.

We have ALL heard this one, or a version thereof, right?

The short answer is how much of a social life your kids will or will not have may depend more on your own personality than whether or not you homeschool. If you are an extrovert and do not live waaaaaaaay out in the country away from it all, then believe me, your kids can easily have as active a social life as you and they would like. You might be looking for ways to cut back on your kids’ social life before you know it!

If you are an introvert, getting a meaningful social life for your kids may be a bit more challenging. I know it’s been awkward for me at times to “come out of my shell.” It doesn’t come naturally. However, I have found that simply following the homeschool social media boards goes a super long way to finding activities and opportunities for friendships that don’t tax my introverted nature too much in the process.

The options are out there, and the variety is enormous. Plus, your kids will have the added benefit of engaging frequently with kids (and adults) of ALL ages and not just the ones in their grade. Their homeschool “socialization” will most likely benefit them more positively in the end as they learn how to interact in more real-life situations.

Reasons TO Homeschool

The above are only a few of the many concerns I’ve heard from new-to-homeschooling moms. All are worth considering for sure. It is a daunting journey to start! However, the benefits for us have far outweighed any shortcomings or obstacles we’ve faced.

Homeschooling, like any other task, involves a step-by-step learning curve. And your homeschooling life will never be completely perfect or ideal. However, it is attainable if that is the route you wish you take. The help is out there, and the reward can be great.

What are some other common concerns or reasons not to homeschool you have heard parents bring up? Comment below!